All the Small Things
by Doctor Addison Montgomery
Summary: Sam/Phil. A collection of ten short drabbles that related to some aspect of Sam and Phil's relationship. More information inside. Reviews are loved! Xx


**All the Small Things**

**A selection of SP drabbles set to 10 random songs from my music library. This idea went around this site and livejournal over the summer and basically you put your itunes on shuffle and use the first ten songs to make a fic. All ten of these drabbles are unrelated and follow different timelines. Some of them follow on from the show and some are completely AU. Warnings: one or two contain smut and one of them is Jam related so there's some femmeslash there.**

**Reviews would be loved!**

_I breathe you, I hate you_

_You course through my veins_

_And now, you want me, you love me_

_And I hate myself_

_I need you, but I hate you_

_'Cause I want nothing else - Die For You - Megan McCauley_

It hadn't been a challenge to hate him to begin with. He was the kind of man she always disliked and could never trust. She hated the way he was with women and she didn't enjoy working with him either. He was the only person who had made her transition to Sun Hill, and to the position of DI. Even Debbie had been easier to live with after the promotion. But soon, after she had really got to know him; the man behind the facade he had created, Sam found it so much harder to hate him. She tried to keep up the pretence but she found herself smiling at some of his less inappropriate comments and almost enjoying the occasions they worked together. Although she had refused to admit it at the time, they made a pretty good team and their differing detective skills complimented each other.

She couldn't really pinpoint the time when things had changed so drastically between her and Phil. Maybe it was when Meadows had gone over her head and promoted Manson to DI instead of giving her the job on a permanent basis. She had expected Phil to gloat but he had been supportive; he had been a friend. Now she didn't have to pretend to hate him anymore and they began to adjust to the change in their relationship.

Sam wasn't sure if she was prepared for how much things were going to change and she had never expected that he would fall for her. And now what was she supposed to do? She wanted to explore her feelings for this man who had turned his life around for her, of course she did but was she really willing to give up her chances of becoming DI or maybe even DCI?

_

* * *

_

I can easily slip away

_And then I'll be gone forever. - Final Destination – Within Temptation_

The opportunity to work with Special Ops could not have come at a better time for Phil Hunter. He had been considering his options for the future a lot recently and this seemed to be the first piece of good luck he had come across in a while, since his short lived romance with Samantha he supposed. The job sounded amazing, and an opportunity he could not afford to ignore because he'd always regret it. But he knew, deep down inside that the most attractive thing about the job offer was it gave him an easy way out of life at Sun Hill. Working with Sam had become unbearable recently, and he didn't know how long he could stay there knowing she no longer trusted him.

Maybe this job would give him the opportunity to get away; to finally move on from her.

_

* * *

_

I never wanted to say this

_You never wanted to stay_

_I put my faith in you_

_So much faith and you just threw it away _

_- For A Pessimist I'm Pretty Optimistic – Paramore_

He had invested everything in his relationship with her; everything he had. He had turned his life around and upside down for yet it still wasn't enough. He wondered if, no matter how pure and true he was, she would ever be able to trust him. He had absolute belief in her and knew, as he had not known with Cindy and Kate and every other woman, that she was the one for him. He knew, even if they didn't end up together, he would never love anyone the way he loved Samantha Nixon. But it was still not good enough for her and he was convinced it never would be. He had offered all of himself to her and everything he had, but she had just pushed it aside.

_

* * *

_

Running down corridors

_Through automatic doors_

_Got to get to you__,_

_Got to see this through__.__ - Wires – Athlete_

"Sam's been rushed to St. Hughes," Jo told Phil, her words stumbling over each other in her rush to speak.

Phil was unable to speak for a millisecond and just stared at her, horrible scenarios playing in his mind.

"Why? What happened? Is she going to be alright?" He replied, in a similarly urgent tone.

"She was stabbed, she and Mickey went to interview a drug dealer who we suspected of being involved in the murder of Amelia Wright. He ran off and they chased him but he had a knife and stabbed Sam in the stomach."

"Shit," Phil replied, slamming his fist down on the desk and hearing with satisfaction as Jo's mug leapt up off the surface. "Shit, I've got to get down there."

"I'll drive you," Jo offered, knowing that she was in a slightly better state for driving than Phil.

"No, thanks Jo, but I need to see her alone. I'll call you with an update, okay?" He replied.

Jo nodded, but didn't look particularly happy about it. "You'd better," She warned, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

Phil barely remembered the journey to St. Hughes or the trek to Sam's ward. He rushed into her side room and went straight to her bedside, taking her hand.

"Oh God, Sam, are you okay?" He said, stroking her palm. "I was so worried about you."

Sam smiled across at him. "I'm okay," She assured him. "It wasn't a deep wound."

Phil looked relieved. "Thank God," And then his brow wrinkled in concern again. "And our baby?"

Sam smiled again, her eyes a little watery. She squeezed his hand. "Couldn't be healthier."

* * *

'_Cause you are not alone_

_I'm always there with you_

_And we'll get lost together_

_Until the light comes pouring through_

'_Cause when you feel like you're done_

_And the darkness has won_

_Babe, you're not lost – Lost – Michael Bublé_

When Sam had had her miscarriage, she had somewhat foolishly expected Stuart to be there for her. After all he was the father of the baby and it would have been his first child. He had always seemed like the kind of man who would be there in her time of need, especially when he must be hurting too. If he was really grieving for the loss of their child then he was doing a very good job of hiding it. The first, and strongest, emotion Sam was aware of feeling from him was relief.

Ironically, Phil seemed to be far more upset that Stuart and this surprised her. She knew that Phil was trying to be supportive of her new relationship even though he didn't approve, and his show of sympathy and understanding touched her. She wondered if she had made the wrong choice, if she should have been with Phil instead of Stuart.

She sat on the sofa, her petite body lost in the large cushions, her knees drawn up to her chest as she hugged them. She had stopped crying now but she ached both physically and mentally. Stuart was gone and she doubted he'd be back. He had no idea what to say and didn't understand the heartbreak she was experiencing and she hated him for it. She knew that, no matter what happened next, she could not take him back into her life, her bed and her heart again. A soft tap on the door brought her back to the here and now and she went to answer, praying that Stuart wasn't back. She couldn't bear to face him again. But when she opened the front door, Phil was standing there not Stuart.

"Hey," He greeted gently, setting the carrier bag he was holding down on the floor and pulling Sam into a warm embrace. She settled into his arms, the warmth spreading through her numb body. He finally released and stroked her cheek, noticing the redness of her eyes. He wanted desperately to do something; anything to make things easier for her but he hated that he couldn't.

"What's in the bag?" Sam finally asked as they made their way through to the living room. He handed the bag to her and she peered inside. "Oh, Phil!" She exclaimed, her eyes shining with tears again. He smiled at her as she took the DVDs, the wine and the chocolate out of the bag. She went back over to him and hugged him, burying her face in the warmth of his shoulder.

"Thank you," She whispered, she already knew but now she had proof that Phil was all the man Stuart could and would never be.

_

* * *

_

You are everywhere to me

_And when I close my eyes_

_It's you I see – Everywhere – Michelle Branch_

When Sam had taken her three week break from Sun Hill shortly before being appointed to DI, she had hoped that the time away would help her to get over Phil. Three weeks in a warmer climate, sitting by the pool and reading trashy novels seemed like the perfect cure for the end of a relationship she had so desperately believed in but it didn't seem to be working that way. Just a week into her holiday and she had already considered going home once each day or ringing Phil and inviting him out there to join her. Also, the hours to herself had led to more self-reflection than she had bargained on and she had come to realise that breaking up with Phil had been a mistake. Yes, he had been a player and a womaniser but that was then and he had changed so much; changed for her. The guilt was beginning to set in and everywhere she went it was like Phil was there.

First it had been at the airport when the man in front of her in the queue had resembled Phil so much from the back that she was convinced it was him, that was until he turned around anyway. She cursed himself for being so hung up on a man who she had only dated for two months but with her and Phil it seemed as if they had been together so much longer. It was almost as if they had been leading up to being lovers for as long as she could remember.

Part way through the second week she met a man in the bar who was away on a lad's holiday with some friends. They chatted and drank together but Sam couldn't shake the feeling that she was betraying Phil in some way even though they weren't a couple anymore.

On the final day of her holiday, Sam packed her bags slowly, savouring the last few hours she had in this paradise that was so far removed from Sun Hill. Part of her dreading going back to work after this relaxing holiday but the rest of her was counting down the hours until she could see Phil and tell him she had made the biggest mistake of her life in ending their romance.

_

* * *

_

I'm trying, I'm trying

_To let you know just how much you mean to me_

_And after all the things we put each other through_

_And I would drive on to the end with you. – Demolition Lovers – My Chemical Romance (smut warning for this one)_

"I'm sorry," She whispered, snuggling into his embrace and moulding her body to his. "I'm so sorry," She was sitting on his lap, her legs wrapped around his waist and her arms encircling his neck.

Phil said nothing; he just sat still and let Sam sit there in his lap. He didn't even react when she pulled his shirt from the waistband of his trousers and set to work unbuttoning it. She finally pulled it off his shoulders and tossed his aside. She ran her small hands over the exposed skin of muscular chest, her fingers tangling in the hair there. She began to kiss down his neck, across his shoulder and down his chest, twirling her tongue around his nipple and biting down with her sharp teeth. It was relief to actually elicit a reaction from him as he growled low in his throat and bucked his hips into her's. Next, she unbuttoned her own blouse, casting it aside along with her bra. She took his hands in her's and placed them over her breasts.

"I'm sorry," She whispered again. Reaching for the belt on his trousers while his thumbs massaged her hard nipples, Sam finally undid his trousers, slipping her hands down inside his boxers. She rubbed her hands along his hardness, feeling his whole body tighten. He moaned loudly, burying his face in her hair and nipping at her neck with his teeth. She knew it would leave a noticeable mark tomorrow but she was beyond caring. She had to climb off his lap to removed her own trousers and underwear, dragging Phil's off too so they joined the heap of discarded clothes. She climbed back onto Phil's lap, both of them fully naked now. She positioned herself over Phil's erection and took him, watching his blue eyes darken with desire as she moved on top of him. She gripped at his shoulders, her nails digging while Phil's arms held her to him. As continued to move with him, taking him deeper inside, she saw Phil was losing control and that for once he wasn't thinking about the disastrous day he had just experience.

Sam brought him to the edge, and she leaned against him for support as he filled her with his hot seed. When they both came down from their peaks, Sam wrapped her body closed to his; savouring the heat they had created.

"Are you okay?" She finally asked when their breathing had steadied.

"Better," Phil admitted. "Thank you, Sam, I needed that."

She smiled, stroking his face. "I'm here for you, Phil. I love you, and today you needed this; needed me."

He enveloped her sweaty, sated body in his arms and kissed her shoulder. Today had been hell, his witness had been killed due to his own desire to get the killer arrested but somehow, with Sam he could find a way to stop blaming himself, if only for a little while.

_

* * *

_

Whenever you look at me, I wish I was her

– _Cold Shoulder – Adele (femmeslash warning for this one)_

Phil Hunter was probably the most shocked out of everybody when he found out about Sam's relationship with fellow officer DC Jo Masters. Maybe it was just the manner in which he found them, Sam pressed up against an interview room wall while Jo's mouth ravished the blonde woman's lips, throat and the small amount of cleavage her blouse showed.

"I thought you locked the door," Sam moaned, having Phil Hunter find out about them like this was not the way she had planned for it to go.

"I'm sorry you had to see that earlier," Sam said, perching on Phil's desk a little later.

Phil tried to summon the leering grin he had put to bed a long time ago; the one he used to use a lot before he fell in love with Sam.

"I'm not," He replied. "Shame I didn't arrive a few minutes later."

Sam made a disgusted face at him but she knew that his behaviour was just covering up the fact that he hurt because she hadn't told him and because she hadn't chosen him. "I didn't want you to find out that way," She insisted. "I was going to tell you, but it's difficult. I've only ever had relationships with men, I'd never even thought about another woman until Jo."

Phil nodded, he wanted to understand and he wanted to be supportive but it would take time. He supposed it was better that Sam had chosen a woman over him rather than another man.

"I am happy for you Sam, you deserve to be with someone who makes you happy and you know how much I like and respect Jo."

"Thanks Phil," She replied, kissing her cheek. He looked up and met her eye, seeing the familiar smiling gleam in them. Damn, he thought, why can't I be Jo?

_

* * *

_

Again and again and again and again

_I see your face in everything – Echelon – 30 Seconds to Mars_

Sam stood near the front of the church, her black shift dress flapping a little around her knees in the breeze that came in through the open doors. The sun was shining brightly outside and it felt wrong, almost like it should be raining on a day like today. The sun suggested that today was a day full of promise and hope but for Sam this couldn't be further from the truth. Today she was burying the only man she had ever truly loved unconditionally. She barely heard a word of the vicar's sermon or prayer and only seemed to come to awareness as fellow officers, friends and Phil's family filed out of the church.

Phil's mum made her way over to her, her eyes red from crying.

"I'm so sorry, Samantha, I know you two were close." She said.

Sam hugged the woman, who one day could have become her mother in law.

"I'm sorry too," Sam replied. "I can only imagine the loss you're feeling."

"And you too, Samantha, I know you'll miss him."

Sam nodded. "Yes, I will," She paused. "I love him very much, you know." Her gaze fell to where Kate stood with Alfie holding her hand.

"I know sweetie, and he loved you too." She replied. Sam smiled weakly as the party of Hunters walked away. Alfie stopped on his way past and Sam looked down into his blue eyes. She was struck by the resemblance to Phil and it nearly brought on another flood of tears, but she managed to smile. "You're going to be just like your father," She said, to no one in particular as she left the church and one of the biggest parts of her life behind.

_T_

* * *

ake my heart; I'll take your hand

_As we're falling under_

_This is an addiction girl_

_Let's give in to it - Our Time Now – Plain White T's_

"Phil, I should be studying!" Sam protested, as he dragged her out of her dorm room and down the corridor. "Phil!"

He ignored her, linking his fingers through her's as they slowed to a walk.

"All you do is study Sam, you need a night off." Phil persuaded and Sam wondered if he would ever pass his training.

"Fine," Sam sighed and let herself be led to the bar on the corner. Phil ordered their drinks in and they took them over to a table in the corner. After her second drink Sam began to relax and was actually enjoying herself. Phil was so different to every other boy she had dated and he constantly surprised her.

"We're leaving," He said, once Sam's put her empty glass now.

"What, already?" She asked, and Phil laughed at her change of heart.

"Yes, to go to the next bar." He laughed, taking her hand again and leading her out of the pub.

"Oh no, Phil, not a nightclub, you know I don't dance in public." She moaned put Phil gave her little choice, leading her towards the bright lights of the club.

"You do now," He told her as they went inside. He bought them more drinks and Sam bought herself a shot of vodka. Phil looked her with a mixture of surprise and pride.

She shrugged. "If you're going to make me dance, I've got to be drunk first."

Phil smiled. "Fair enough," He said, leading her towards the centre of the room where everyone was dancing. He was enjoying this side of Sam and watching her shake off the good girl image she had had since they started at Hendon.

Sam wrapped her arms around Phil's neck and they moved to the beat of the music together. She felt Phil's on her neck as they swayed together as slipped her arms down to his waist, pulling flush against her. Two can play at this game, she thought.

"Sam," He moaned as her hands ran over the perfect curve of his ass.

"You started it," She said, moving her head so she could capture his lips in a blistering kiss. "And you're going to get us thrown out of here for indecent exposure," Phil replied, pressing kissing down her throat.

Sam laughed. "We could be our own training exercise,"

Phil smiled, his hands working their way under the hem of her shirt and stroking the soft skin at the small of her back.

"Maybe we should get out of here?" She suggested. Phil agreed wholeheartedly, taking Sam's hand and leading her through the crowd. Any thought of studying was completely removed from Sam's mind.


End file.
